i don't have a busy life here in our hometown. i'm not sure if i wish to have a busy life to somehow "distract" me from crying often or just be like this so i will always think of Daddy every second.
a grad school friend i was chatting with earlier asked what keeps me busy here and i replied:
* bantay bata
* sterilize bottles
* Internet gamay
* cry
* go to the cemetery
* pray
* watch TV with the kids
* eat
* engage in discussions and arguments
* go the the capital town by tricycle to do groceries and buy the yummiest chicken barbecue or buy pizza for the kids or eat halo halo at a "famous" resto there
* walk half a kilometer to buy hot bread or bibingka
* eat my cousin's yum arroz caldo, biko or binignit
* hear mass daily at 6 AM
* talk with relatives
* think about the tragic accident and cry again
surprisingly, i never get to take a nap in the afternoon even if the weather here (it rains everyday) is conducive to sleeping and snoring.
M and Z were originally scheduled to fly back to Cebu with me and Mama after December 8 (the town fiesta here) but the hub suggested that they fly back with him on the 1st (God willing). He's coming home for Daddy's 40th novena. As much as I want to let them stay longer here, I am also thinking it's best for M to be back in Cebu already because she has missed classes for over a month now. Although she's only in N2, I also wouldn't want her to miss much in school. Our place would have been the best Z should stay in because it doesn't give him asthma attacks but these kids get really sad when they're not together.
now on the things i have in mind when i'm back in Cebu. being the pessimistic person that i am, i've already told the hub, family and friends that it will really be harder for me there because it's where Daddy spent the last 3 months of his life. yes, he spent it with us and I saw how lovingly he spent every single day with M and Z. he was really one of the best, hands-on lolos i know that back then, i would always thank the Lord that he was still alive when i gave birth to my kids. there are days here when M would tell Z how she misses lolo or she would tell my sister "you know what, Tita? i like lolo so much. mo play sya namo sa cebu. mingaw na ko niya. " Cebu will definitely make me miss Daddy so much. while i'm here, these are the few things i plan to do when i get back to Cebu:
> drive M to and from school and be the official family driver
> hear mass daily at 12:15 PM at st. therese church
> pray the rosary nightly
> cross stitch (because this is one of the things our dearest cousin Bing did so passionately)
> practice cooking (because Daddy always loved to cook and because the all-around helper is going home for good). i also plan to enroll in cooking classes
> be more hands-on with M and Z
> see friends often (especially during the first 6 months)
> seriously, seriously exercise. jog with the hub at IT Park
> guide M in her school assignments and check on her seat works
> be with Mama often
> work on our biggest family dream
> cry. and think of Daddy, Mama Tit and Bingbing.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
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4 comments:
No matter how busy I'll be me, just text me if you need a companion - I'll be your jog/walk buddy, your cooking buddy, your food trip partner.. you can tell me about what hurts.. and someday, it won't be so bad anymore.
There's a cooking school at JY square. It's a culinary school. They offer short courses.
We missed you yesterday.. hilom ra kaayo.
hi cuz, you can also add to your "things to do in cebu": have afternoon coffee with me (at figaro where there's free wifi so i could still read my work emails) :)
this is a nice read, mi. i was smiling reading through your list. =) can't wait to see you and talk to you soon. take care. *hugs*
mims, may you be able to carry on your duties as mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend with grace and so much love! that despite your mourning, you will see so much happiness in your children's eyes.
my thoughts and prayers for you and your mama... paspas kaayo ang panahon mo 40 days na gyud. i cannot say that it will get better as the days go by. but for sure, you will learn how to cope and you'll be fine.
*hugs*
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