today

i had a quite busy day today. and again, i shed tears. it's driving me crazy but it's okay if it means keeping Daddy alive in my heart.

today, i sent the car registration documents, stereo head, car key and one of the tires to the buyer of Daddy's ill-fated Isuzu Crosswind. my heart bled for the sale meant final goodbye to something dear to Daddy and to something which was a big part of our lives. if only i could keep it, i would. but then again, who would want to keep something that will remind you of the tragic accident? i guess you just have to let go of it and the bad memories that associated with it.

i went to different government agencies to process stuff related to Daddy's death. i was amazed at the fast and friendly service i got. they're a lot better here compared to their Cebu counterparts. i applied for Daddy's death certificate on security paper and got it immediately and unlike the online thing, it only costs P140.

i went to Mama's local suki and had my fingernails and toe nails manicured. to cheer me up, i chose bright red nail polish. pretty! if only i could post a pic here. and i was in Santa mood so aside from the generous tip i gave her, i also bought the manicurista 3 bottles of nail polish. i made her happy, she couldn't stop thanking me.

when i got home today, i was met by a brown butterfly which, to me was Daddy. and i took it to mean he was happy and thankful. in my heart, i could hear him saying "salamat, Mi sa pag asikaso nan Crosswind. " i also took it as a sign that he's okay with our decision to dispose of the vehicle. for some time, it was something we kept discussing about --- whether to sell it or not, we kept "analyzing" whether Daddy would want us to sell it or keep it.

today, i am thankful it's finally over and done with. it's one item off our to-do list. but today, i am shedding barrels of tears because i so miss Daddy! and as i am writing this here in his room (with Mama snoring), i can't stop crying.